


To love somebody foolishly

by justonemoremiraclesherlock



Series: Not enough [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, not a whole lot of smut for a fic like this, sorry about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:55:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29786082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justonemoremiraclesherlock/pseuds/justonemoremiraclesherlock
Summary: They didn’t talk about it, afterwards. In fact, they never talked about it at all. They continued to sleep with each other for the rest of his third year at college, and all throughout his last one, on the weekends in which Stiles had been able to get back home, or when Derek had been able to drive up to meet up with him. But at no point did they ever talk about what it meant, or for how long it would last.Until Stiles let it slip that he wanted more.
Relationships: Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Not enough [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2189409
Comments: 6
Kudos: 211





	To love somebody foolishly

Stiles knew what he had gotten himself into when he started having sex with Derek.

At the beginning, he had claimed it was about the convenience of it. There was plenty of attraction between them, sure, but the decisive factor had been trust.

Stiles knew Derek had tried to hook up with some people after Jennifer, but had eventually given up. That wound was still too raw, and with the ghost of Kate still in the back of his mind, he couldn’t bring himself to give up that much control to a stranger for fear of the consequences. Stiles knew all too well what that felt like, after losing his virginity to Malia while being possessed by the Nogitsune. He had tried to regain some semblance of control while he was in college; he’d slept with plenty of people, always sober and completely lucid, and even tried dating some of them, but they would eventually get tired of him disappearing to God-knows-where and getting random calls in the middle of the night. So he, too, had taken a break from relationships and random hook-ups all together. It just wasn’t worth the trouble.

Around that time, Stiles had also started a weird long-distance friendship with Derek. They could barely stand each other while they were in the same room together, but the distance seemed to lower their defenses, in a way. It was easier when they were texting, but they had even managed to get through phone calls, and even skype sessions, without arguing. Stiles would even —hesitantly, and only to himself— consider them friends.

Which is probably why one night, during his third year of college, after blowing off a guy who’d been trying to get into his pants for the last couple of weeks, and downing half a bottle of vodka in one go, he’d locked himself in his dorm room and texted Derek. Derek, who he knew would be the only one who could understand what it felt like to lose control of your own body, who knew what it felt like to have it used without your consent. Derek, who instead of ignoring him, had actually replied and shared his own experiences with him. And Stiles’ drunk self, having lost any and all sense of self-preservation, had proposed a mutually beneficial relationship based on sex and trust. It had seemed like the perfect idea at the time.

Except Derek hadn’t answered. Not that night, and not for the rest of the week.

So the following weekend, when he’d gone back home and bee-lined straight for Derek’s loft to try and salvage what was left of their precarious relationship, he had expected Derek to kick him out immediately, or to simply give him the cold shoulder and cut off further communication. Instead, as soon as he’d stepped into the loft, Derek had moved right up to him, pushed him against the wall, and kissed him. And then proceeded to fuck him against said wall, hard and fast, after Stiles confirmed his proposal had been completely serious.

They didn’t talk about it, afterwards. In fact, they never talked about it at all. They continued to sleep with each other for the rest of his third year at college, and all throughout his last one, on the weekends in which Stiles had been able to get back home, or when Derek had been able to drive up to meet up with him. But at no point did they ever talk about what it meant, or for how long it would last.

Until Stiles let it slip that he wanted more.

* * *

“Should I just pretend it was a heat of the moment thing?” asked Derek, breath ghosting over Stiles’ ear.

The were both on the couch, Stiles straddling Derek’s lap. Derek was already getting soft, but he hadn’t pulled out yet, and Stiles took advantage of their position to hide his face against Derek’s shoulder.

“Yeah, sorry. Orgasms, man, they really fuck with your head.”

He felt Derek tense up, hands tightening on his hips, and then he remembered.

_Fucking werewolf hearing_.

“I thought we agreed this was just sex. _Convenient_ is the word you used, if I remember correctly.”

Stiles closed his eyes, pressing his face harder against Derek’s shoulder. “If you agree to never mention this again, I’ll blow you.”

“You’ll blow me anyway,” Derek snorted. Stiles felt a hand on the side of his neck, soft but insistent, and he let Derek pull him away from his shoulder, until their eyes met. “You never said you wanted more. That this wasn’t enough anymore.”

“Does it matter?” Stiles tried to get up, but Derek held him in place. “Listen, can we not do this? I know you’re not interested, dude, it’s fine—”

“I never said that.”

“What?”

“I never said I wasn’t interested. In more.” Derek was frowning now, genuinely confused.

Stiles throat went tight. “Dude, you didn’t _have_ to.” He choked out. “You never let me stay over. We fuck, and then you kick me out as soon as we’re done. We’ve never done it in your bed, and the one time I suggested it, you looked _horrified_ and didn’t talk to me for a week afterwards. Hell, no one knows we’re even friends, least of all that we’ve been sleeping together. I got the message loud and clear, okay?”

Derek stayed silent, and Stiles tried once again to get away, but Derek recovered himself and used the hold he had on his hips to pull him closer. “You’re an idiot.” Stiles went cold, and was about to open his mouth to tell Derek to go fuck himself, but Derek kept going. “I don’t let you stay over because I was trying to set some boundaries. It’s hard enough to have you smelling like me after I fuck you, but it would drive me _insane_ to have my bed smell like you, too. And don’t put the secrecy on me, _you_ haven’t told anyone either.”

“I—”

“You think I would have agreed to this in the first place if I didn’t feel _anything_? Or that I would have let it go for so long?”

“Yes! Yes, because we agreed it would be more convenient to—”

“Stop putting that word in my mouth, that was all _you_.”

“What the fuck was I supposed to _do_? I never thought you could love me back, but at least I could have you like that, asshole.”

They were both breathing hard, breaths mingling together, and Stiles’ head fell forward until their foreheads met, suddenly exhausted.

“You weren’t in love with me. Not back then.”

“Maybe not at the start, no. But it was close, and I knew it wouldn’t take too long.” Stiles let out a strangled laugh, that came out more like a sob.

Derek kissed him then, soft, and almost tenderly, unlike any of the others kisses they’d shared. “I don’t love you.” Stiles recoiled, stung, but Derek pressed another kiss to his lips, eyes desperate. “Not yet. I’m not sure I even know how anymore. But I want— I want to try. If you’d let me.”

“Okay,” Stiles whispered against his lips. “Okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope I didn't fuck up any of the tenses, because English is hard and the first part of this fic made me wish I'd never learnt the language in the first place.  
> Feel free to let me know if you see any mistakes, and I'll fix it asap.  
> Hope you enjoyed x


End file.
